“I don’t know what to say or do when the conversation turns disrespectful.”
You love Jesus, right?
And you care deeply about the special people and relationships God has given you in your life?
Then why does it feel like no matter what you do, there are some (or maybe even many) of those dearest relationships that only cause you pain?
You love more. Try harder. And do your best to be what you feel is a “good Christian”.
But the end result is just more pain and disconnection.
Do you feel this way about your relationship with your young or grown kids?
Your close friends? Parents?
Or maybe even the person you share your bed with?
If so, you need to know two important things right now.
First, you’re not alone.
As a pastor for 30 years, I have personally sat across the counseling table with hundreds (maybe thousands at this point)of good, kind-hearted Christians who had loved ones in their lives literally calling them the devil and treating them as such.
And no amount of prayer or group counseling could change a single thing (until they made this one shift I will share about in a moment).
“I feel myself shut down and disappear when someone is upset or angry with me.”
“I feel myself shut down and disappear when someone is upset or angry with me.”
“People say I am manipulative when all I am doing is trying to make everything work and keep everyone happy.”
“My relationship is falling apart, and I’m not sure if I’m the problem or they are.”
“I’m trying to work on things but they won’t even talk to me.”
“I don’t know how to set boundaries and when I do, people don’t respect them.”
“I feel like it’s too late to fix my relationship and it will probably just get worse if I try.”
If you answered “yes” to at least two or more of these, you need to pay very close attention to the rest of what I’m about to share…
Second, you need to know that it’s not your fault.
When you look at your grown child and you feel like they don’t even want to listen or be around you. Maybe they even tell you those heartbreaking words “Leave me alone”. Or maybe they don’t even talk to you anymore, it can be devastating.
The memories and years we lose with our loved ones because of disconnection can never be made up.
There are no time machines or magic wands that allow us to recapture that precious lost time.
The fact is, you may be completely well-intentioned in every effort you’re making to shift the tides of those relationships with little to no results. Maybe some relationships are getting even worse and it feels like maybe there is no hope. It’s really not your fault.
So please, hang in there. Because there is hope.
“Is the Root Cause of Your Painful Relationships You or Them?”
(Hint: The answer is neither!)
When it comes to those prickly relationships, the one that always gives you a pit in your stomach, you probably have done it all by down. Spoke to the pastor. Prayed. Read a bunch of Christian books. Maybe even fasted.
And yet you’re stuck.
You likely have sat there and said to yourself, it’s because of them.
The way they treat me, the things they do, the words they say.
And while that all may be true, it’s not the reason you’re in pain today.
You may have even become self-reflective and turned your eyes inward. You’re in pain because of mistakes you made, or ways you don’t communicate well enough.
Well, I have big news for you, in fact, great big news, the root cause of your pain in these relationships is not because of you. Or because of them.
And if you have been putting all your time into trying to fix or blame you or them, well now you know why you’re stuck.
The real cause of your pain is due to a misperception of who God is…
Consider this…
Colossians 1:17 says that “Everything is held together by the power of His Word”.
The Greek translation for that word “everything” is… well, it means EVERYTHING.
You, me, your thoughts, your hopes, your relationships. It’s all held together by Him.
Kinda like the way the human heart connects life to the entire body. It supplies oxygen-rich blood to every organ, every cell, your arms, legs, and toes.
Now imagine we were putting together a body and we had a wrong perception of what the heart was meant to do…
We took this magnificent creation that pumps 2,000 gallons of blood a day, and we tried to use it as a foot? Or what if we took the heart and tried to shove it inside our skull as a brain?
It wouldn’t work so well, would it?
It’s a crude example but hopefully, you can see the point.
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And the only way to change your current situation is to rewire the entire network.
No small task for sure. Thankfully there is a biblical way to do this and with the help of Holy Spirit the results are dramatic, and more importantly lasting.
I have seen…
(NEED EXAMPLES/TESTIMONIES FROM KYLO U FROM SARA/BEN)
Testimony about the woman who prayed for her husband for 30 years. Woman takes KYLO U and he says to her, “I believe what you’ve been telling me about the love of God now. I want to get baptized!”
I finally figured out that I cannot control other people. My attendance at KYLO U has shown me the power of self-control and my family connections have never been stronger and our has never been this peaceful.
Our 3-Step Process to Healing, Building, and Protecting Your Relationships:
Step 1: “You & God”
Reconnect with God on a deeper level through Spirit-led sessions and activations that are proven to enhance your spiritual life.
Step 2: “You & You”
Learn techniques to understand and heal your own heart, boosting your self-esteem and enabling you to engage in relationships powerfully with authenticity and love.
Step 3: “You & Others”
(DANNY UNPACK WHAT LIFE WOULD BE LIKE IF THEY PRACTICED EVERYTHING WE TAUGHT IN KYLO U….BASICALLY OPPOSITE OF PAIN POINTS FROM ABOVE. USE “IMAGINE IF” STATEMENTS)
At KYLO University, we’ve developed a transformative 16-week online program designed to reconnect you with God, your own heart, and your loved ones. We address the root causes of spiritual and relational disconnect, offering practical, scripture-based solutions that will deepen your faith and relationships.
Are you ready to change your life? Join us at KYLO University and find the fulfillment you’ve been seeking. Now, you face a choice: stay the same, or have the courage to change. What will it be?
Enroll now and begin your journey towards a life filled with deeper connections and healthy relationships.
